Friday, November 26, 2010


here's one of my first personal blog posts. Life has been pretty stressful for me especially this particular past year. I often have to put up a front socially to cover up my slowly crumbling world. I have to admit, I have always been a optimistic person, but there are always limits. Honestly, it may superficial, but I feel that if it weren't for me wearing makeup everyday to conceal my rough days each day, I think I would literally go insane. I have never been an 'academic' individual, but it feels like the more I think to myself that I'm not an academic person, the more and more lower my academic standings get. Nursing school has been a true challenge for me and has truly tested my personal abilities for patience and critical thinking. Sometimes you really have to just let go of your tears and just let it go and let it go loud if you have to. It truly helped me through these nursing years. In the back of my mind, I doubt myself and think that this is not my calling, but I always finish what I have started and I need to do this to prove something to my parents and especially myself.
On a financial perspective, I am pretty screwed, I have such poor self discipline for controlling my impulsive shopping habits. I just feel like I have been digging myself a grave a little bit at a time each time I pull out that damn plastic card. There are times when I absolutely have no money but still manage to drop 2oo bucks in an unplanned impulsive purchase for something I don't really need. But I feel so thrilled during those few moments after telling that makeup rep at the counter what you want and the satisfaction I have feeling the cool shopping bag in my hands. I am in trouble. I just think. It's gonna get better...soon.

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